


Zombie

by KillerKells202



Series: Moral Injury [4]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Character Death, Date Night, Explosives, F/F, Flashbacks, Military, Military Lingo, Minor Character Death, Night Terrors, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad Ending, Teasing, Violence, Yang Xiao Long is Bad at Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 14:06:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21303320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerKells202/pseuds/KillerKells202
Summary: Yang makes it back home, alive but mind and body fractured. She tried to maintain her relationship with Blake. Things between them are strained as Yang has nightmares and flashbacks from the war. Blake is able to help,but feels hopeless. She can't do anything more than watch from the sidelines. Yang refuses to talk about what happened. Blake has no idea what to do. They still try to make it work between them
Relationships: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long
Series: Moral Injury [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1376032
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	Zombie

**Author's Note:**

> Came from the inspiration Zombie by Cranberries and Bad Wolves. I took different interpretations of this song.
> 
> Sorry ya'll. No idea more than have the fic was italicize

Yang was right there. In front of her eyes, her whole team was blown away by the explosion. Yang rushed to her feet. Her eyes spotted PVT Polendina, her youngest, inspiring, optimistic soldier. In any bad situation, she made it awkward, which helped everyone laugh. Now, she laid on the ground, face ashen from the blast...bleeding and dying. Yang held her close in her arms. Penny was like a child to her. Her child-like mind brightened even the darkest days. 

"SGT?" The red-head coughed. Her dull eyes stared into the night sky, shining with stars the smoke failed to conceal. 

"Hold on Penny, don't talk." Yang urged. The young leader could feel her growing weak. All Yang could do was hold her until she passed. "Please, Penny, stay with me." She refused to call her soldier by her last name at a time like this. Penny is a person, not a robot. Yang held the trunk of her body. Her arms and legs had been severed by the blast, laying on the ground in all directions. A dark red pool formed around them. 

"I'm not scared of dying. I never was." Cough. Cough. "I never really had a group of friends before. I'm glad I met you all. SGT, will you stay with me, please?"

What could she do? Yang couldn't help her. She started to weep for those she lost. One of her most potentially talented soldiers was dying right in front of her. Her eyes scanned around. Bodies she recognized laid scattered around her in a wide circle. When she looked down, Penny closed her green eyes.

"Yang?" 

She could feel someone shaking her. She opened her eyes to see darkness. 

"Yang, come back to me." 

_Blake?_ She could hear Blake's voice. How? Why? 

"Yang, please!" 

Blake was begging her to stay. She wanted nothing more in the world, but she couldn't. 

Someone is constricting her movement. She used to forearms to push herself free but found no resistance. Opening her eyes that adjusted to the dim light, Yang found beautiful amber eyes with tears. "Blake." She held her wife into her body and cried into her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I couldn't-. I couldn't save them. It's my fault they died. I should've paid more attention. I should've-."

"Shh." Blake held body close. She hated it when Yang was like this. There was nothing she could do but listen. She would try to understand but had no experience with what she was going through. Whenever Yang did talk about it, Blake listened intently. Her stubborn wife usually changed her mind, keeping Blake oblivious to the trauma she experienced. Yang tried to hide it. She refused to talk to someone about it. There was nothing Blake could do. She felt useless. 

"There was nothing you could've done. You did your best with the resources you had. You saved people." She peeled her face away from her shoulder to stare into her eyes. Blake held her face as she stroked the tears away with her thumb. "You're a hero, Yang. You're my hero." Blake would remind her as many times as it took until she understood. Blake would continue to let her get it out and hold her until she feels asleep emotionally drained.

"They're still out there fighting and I'm here doing nothing." Yang was useless. Her soldiers were still out there, fighting. How could she continue to lead her troops when they got back after being sidelined. Yang was about to be medically discharged because of her injury. Yes, she saved all the medics, but her arm was torn off. She nearly died. She didn't want to give this up. There was still fight in her.

Blake hated this. She finally had Yang home after months. All she wanted was to be out there with her troops. Blake almost lost her once. Call her selfish, but she refused for Yang to go back out there and get herself killed. _ Don't be a hero. The words echoed in her mind. Yang didn't listen to anyone. She did what was right. People found she listened to Blake the most. Even pissed off her higher-ups by doing the right thing over orders. "Stay with me." Blake whispered while holding her tight. Never again would Blake allow her wife to be alone, trapped in the memory of her trauma._

__

After an hour, Yang had exhausted herself and passed out. Her sleep schedule continued to be erratic. She refused to sleep at times because of the nightmares. Blake laid her flat on the bed. She stayed next to her to monitor her breathing. It was always steady when they were together. "I'm so sorry, Yang." She stroked her hair. "I told you to come back to me in one piece. You didn't. Not just physically, but mentally. You're in pieces. It kills me to see you like this. For better, or worse." She whispered their wedding vows. "I love you, no matter what." 

__

Blake couldn't watch much more. Yang was destroying herself. She refused to talk about it, refused help and it was wearing her down. She couldn't keep going like this. Even her parents were worried about her. She cared too much for Yang. She wanted to help but wasn't sure how. For now, she sat by her side and read a book she picked up on PTSD. It was mostly about soldiers and what they went through during their war. She was well versed in past conflicts due to her Faunus history. She wanted to help but wasn't sure how. For now, she sat by her side and read a book she picked up on PTSD. It was mostly about soldiers and what they went through during their war. She was well versed in past conflicts due to her Faunus history. Her issue was she never focused on the fighters or what they experienced, only the outcome. Blake was optimistic about learning how to care for the one she loved. 

__

Yang and her squad were walking through an area and searching for anything suspicious. The people were warned to evacuate the area. They didn't want to confuse civilians for possible enemies. 

__

_**BOOM!**_

__

Everyone hit the ground as the explosion shook the ground. Everyone hit the ground as the explosion shook the ground. Yang took her squad and range walked to the area. They stayed three hundred meters back until given the all-clear. In the meantime, Yang kept her team calm as they all talked it out, got the scare out of their system. 

__

An hour later, the Explosive Ordinance Disposal unit gave them the all-clear. Yang leads her squad in two hundred meters. She left them in a safe location so the leaders can communicate among themselves. Yang approached, her heart sank. She felt the lump in her throat. Stomach bile threatened to project. On the road, there were two small children. One couldn't have been more than twelve. He had short blonde hair and glasses. The other couldn't have been more than three. The family resemblance obvious. ...Kids killed because of this war. Tragedies of a young life taken away are the reasons why Yang believed the gods didn't care. The world they lived in was cruel. Two senseless deaths. Why were children here? How many were still playing? 

__

"Leaders," First Sergeant Schnee huddled everyone together. "The bomb was placed by the enemy. Everyone was told to evacuate. None of this is on you all. I want you to remember that. These two little boy's deaths are on the conscious of the enemy. They did this with malicious intent, not us. Tell your troops what you need to, gently explain the situation. Don't talk to anyone else. Let the commander and I handle that. Move out." 

__

Yang meandered back to her group. They all saw her face, deciding to remain silent. When they arrived at the FOB, Forward Operating Base, their base where everyone ate, slept, hung out, PMCS, Preventative Maintenance Check Services, vehicles as well as other operations they sat down for a talk. 

__

Yang sat in a circle with her squad surrounding her. The young leader didn't know how to start. What do you say to start a heavy conversation? "The enemy planted a bomb in the city. Our Army ensured everyone who wanted to leave understood what was happening and cleared the area. Our Army talked to the native leaders to ensure they understood. The blast caused two civilian casualties we've yet to identify them." She refused to disclose their ages. Her troops didn't need a guilty conscience. Yang paused to let it sink in. If this was happening to them, they could've been anyone's kids. Maybe even her and Blake's kid. 

__

Yang continued after the moment of silence. "This is not our fault. We didn't do this. We didn't do this the enemy planted the bomb. I told you this because you are all adults. You made the adult decision to sign your life away. I'm not going to sugar coat it, but I want you to comprehend the severity of the situation and understand what we are facing now and in the future. The natives already don't like us, and they will try to pin this on us. We did nothing wrong. None of you did anything wrong. We don't kill civilians, especially innocent children. I'm going to be around if you need me, but I want you to talk about what I just told you among yourselves. This may be the only time you are allowed to talk about it." Yang got up and walked away. Usually, they split into their groups. Half the soldiers would be in group A, and the half in group B. Even then, they talked about it as a team. Either way, they didn't need their first line leader there. They needed to be able to speak freely among themselves. 

Yang also wanted to talk to them about something else. "What is important to remember, not everyone here is like this. No one attacked us today. Most people here want the enemy gone more so than we do. They want to live peacefully without any more violence or bloodshed. That's all they want. This is their home. We are helping those who can't help themselves. The group we're facing is living in the past. They're stuck in their ways, the ways of tradition. They don't want to change. They believe they're doing the right thing. Most natives are not like them. I want you to remember this. Don't dehumanize them. In doing so, we dehumanize ourselves by our lack of empathy. Empathy makes us human. Don't let anyone take that away from you. Mostly yourselves." 

"I'm going to be around if you need me, but I want you to talk about what I just told you among yourselves. This may be the only time you are allowed to talk about it." Yang got up and walked away. 

__

Usually, the soldiers split into their groups. Half the soldiers would be in group A, the other half in group B. Even then, they talked about it as a team. Either way, they didn't need their first line leader there. They needed to be able to speak freely amongst themselves. 

__

"Not again." Blake stroked her cheeks as she cried in her sleep. "Yang, please come back to me." She hoped her whispers would enter her nightmare. She laid beside her, snuggling her wife. "I'm here, Yang. I'm right here. I'm got going anywhere. Please, come back to me." Blake felt so hopeless as she could only watch and continue to be there for her. She wanted to do more. She desired to help, but Yang only pushed her away. It was painful. She wasn't sure how to get through to her or her stubbornness. 

__

_A week later. _

__

Things between the couple were strained at best, as far as Yang knew. Yang refused to talk as Blake grew tired of it all. She told her wife that she was taking her out to dinner to a half-decent restaurant. 

__

Yang's jaw still drops when she sees her. How'd she get so lucky? Blake's absolutely gorgeous. "Careful there hero, you might hurt yourself." The Faunus kissed her lips as a sign of appreciation. "You don't look half bad either. Nice to know your uniform is being used for more than boring ceremonies." She adjusted her necktie. The smirk told Yang everything. Blake adjusting her tie was an excuse for them to be close. 

__

"Careful there hero, you might hurt yourself." The Faunus kissed her lips as a sign of appreciation. 

__

"You don't look half bad yourself. I love seeing your uniform used for more than boring ceremonies. It looks good on you." She adjusted her necktie. The smirk told Yang everything. Blake adjusting her tie was an excuse for them to be close. 

__

_Yang pulled her close as Blake laughed. "Don't your dress too wet." She whispered in her ear. _

__

_"Oh. You think you'll get lucky tonight?" She challenged her wife. _

__

"Highly likely." Yang still had a confident smile. 

__

When they arrived, Yang pulled out a chair for the love of her life. Blake teased by taking the other chair. They both chuckled. Staring at her, Yang realized how lucky she is. She loved Blake so much. However, no amount of love in the world would be able to keep them together. Even Yang knew how hard this was for both of them. Blake deserved the world, the best parts of it. Yang always felt like she fell short of what her beautiful wife deserved. 

__

"Hey." Blake spoke gently, holding her hand. "Stay with me." For once, Yang wasn't having a flashback 

__

"Sorry. I'm trying to figure out what I did to deserve you." 

__

"Yang. It's the opposite. I'm the one who left you-." 

__

"Shh. None of that. It was a long time ago. You're only allowed to think of what can happen." 

__

_When their food arrived, the evening proved perfect. They laughed, joked, smiled as nothing could come between them. This is exactly what they-._

__

_ ** Crash! ** _

__

_ _A tank was rolling through their Area of Operation. It fired. Buildings collapsed, people were running, children were being rolled over. This couldn't be happening. Soldiers were firing at it. It was a tank. Their weapons did nothing to it. Yang snuck into the back and shot both of the driver and passenger. No more would they hurt anyone. Looking through the screens, she saw the damage of what they had done. With the buttstock of her weapon, she destroyed the machine. Never again would it hurt anyone. _ _

_ ** Boom! ** _ A bomb went off several miles-. 

_ ** Boom! ** _

_Another explosion was heard seconds after. There's no way they would be able to do anything from where they were. She could guess they were caused by the same organization. People run from the first one, right into the second explosion. What awaited survivors? Guns. The tank had been used as a decoy. They evacuated civilians right into the explosions. They didn't do this. The enemy was ruthless in killing their own. Their Army wasn't responsible for their deaths. She could hear the screaming and crying-._

_\---_

"Yang!" Her attention snapped to Blake. "Stay with me." Her hands ran over her knuckles. Her eyes focused on Blake until they searched around for the threat. They were at dinner. They were enjoying a nice quiet evening until dishes and a screaming child ruined it. Of course, Yang had to have another flashback. "I'm sorry." 

"It's..." None of this was okay. She was tired of dancing around the issue. "Will you tell me what happened?" Silence followed her question. It always did. I'm tired of watching, not knowing what's going on. I feel useless because I don't know how to help." 

_Oh no._ This was it. Blake is gonna leave her. She realizes none of this is worth keeping them together. "Blake." Yang held her hand. "Just you being here, bringing me back to reality is everything. You staying with me through everything is all I need. You mean everything to me. Blake-." 

"Then, why?" Yang's heart hurt, seeing her eyes well with tears. "You say you need me but push me away. You don't allow me to help. Yang, you've helped me through more than you'll ever know. Please, let me in. let me help." 

Yang clenched her teeth. Blake would only worry and fret if she told her. At the same time, Blake would see her and what they did as bad. They never helped anyone, only destroyed lives. There was also that Yang nearly died several times before losing her arm. Talking about it didn't change anything. Blake didn't need to be involved. She'd only worry. 

It pained her. Blake could see Yang's struggle. She was internally tearing herself apart. Some part of her wanted to open up. Her teeth were clenched. Her nails were digging into her palm. She had to stop this. Slender fingers rubbed the back of her hand to her second knuckle going between fingers. Lilac eyes stared into her amber. Her hand relaxed. Blake was able to intertwine their fingers. She was pleading to share. 

Yang remembered the people she killed. The people close to her who died. Blake already had her darkness. She didn't deserve any of hers. "I'm sorry, Blake. I can't." 

"Why? Will you at least tell me that?" 

"It still hurts to talk about. Talking about it won't change anything." 

"It won't.” Blake confirmed. “But it'll help me understand what you went through. Maybe I can help. Please Yang, let me take this journey with you." 

"Blake..." Yang could see it how desperately Blake was to cling onto her. She couldn't. She couldn't do this to either of them. "I can't. I'm sorry." 

Blake glared at her, standing up. "I can't keep doing this with you. Take me home.” She walked out. 

Yang laid the lien down, stood up and followed her. "Blake, please. Don't do this." 

The Faunus scoffed. "I can't. You won't let me help. I don't know-how. I want to, but you push me away. I can't do this anymore, Yang. I can't keep trying, and you push back. It hurts me to see you do this to yourself. I can't keep going like this. I need my wife, my partner, not a zombie. When you're ready, let me know." Blake opened the driver's side door while Yang hopped in the passenger side. 

The blonde wanted to talk. She wanted to tell her something, but she wasn't receptive. She wouldn't want to hear it. She thought she'd always have Blake there with her. This was it. If Blake left her, she wouldn't be able to handle it. She shook her head from the thought. Yang didn't know where to start. She'd say anything but the issue to keep her. 

When they got to the house, Yang could only watch. Blake's mind is set, determined in her ways. Blake packed her belongings. She didn't intend to be gone forever, just enough for Yang to realize what she has. She was going to her parents in the meantime. 

Yang felt embarrassed. Their love for each other wasn't enough. Yang failed to care for her. Now, Blake was leaving her, leaving her alone with nightmares, flashbacks, and visions. All she could do was watch while Blake packed what she needed. Now, the shoes were reversed. Yang felt hopeless as she watched. She understood a little of what Blake was going through with her. 

Before she walked out the door, Yang spun her around, holding her close. They've never needed words to convey their emotions. They knew each other. 'Stay safe. Be careful. I love you. I'll miss you. I can't do this anymore. I need you. I'm sorry.' Passed through each other. Yang kissed her forehead and released her wife. She'd let her go, take what time she needed as well as think clearly without Yang's influence. Her parents cared about her only wanting the best for their daughter. How they thought that was Yang was beyond her. "Goodbye, Blake." 

This time when Blake left, she got the goodbye she needed. Left alone, Yang felt afraid. Maybe she should spend time with her sister-no. Ruby had already been through enough. She didn't need her big sister struggling with PTSD. Yang sat on the couch. She turned on I love Lucy as not be alone with her thoughts. "Blake, please come back to me in one piece." The hypocrisy. Yang returned to her with a fragmented mind and missing her right arm. She hoped that wouldn't be her wife in any case. 

She spent her time fretting over her to take care of herself. Blake was truly her hero. Now she's gone with a slim possibility of returning. She left once, gone for nearly a year. Yang didn't know how to cope. Her wife was gone. Her unit was still fighting. Yang felt alone. She was alone. Emotionally, mentally, now physically. It was all her fault. She pushed Blake away. No telling how long until she saw her again. 

**Author's Note:**

> I promise, the series does not end like this!


End file.
